tagboard
I'm going to start a travel blog to document all my travels :)
G W E N signed off 12:29 AM
just a piece of shit
You say my name... and my head spins.
You smile at me... and the world goes still.
I miss you now, tomorrow and forever.
I miss you... even as I think of you.
You are indescribable, incomparable... you are...
...everything I cannot say.
...everything I cannot have.
...everything I cannot see.
...everything.
I scream. I shout. I...
WAIT FOR ME.
Because I'm a little too infatuated to care.
G W E N signed off 9:57 AM
just a piece of shit
I can hear the angry ticking of the bomb inside me.
You disgust me.
Those who know could only take as much.
Nakaka-awa ka.
You talk about bullshit stuffs, in the goodness and evil.
But do you even believe in what you supposedly preach?
I'm thankful that I saw the skeletons you hid so well inside those closet of yours.
Pray fervently that I might not need any of those for anatomy class.
But oh wait? There are so many hidden in there right?
You might not even notice if I nick a few for show and tell.
G W E N signed off 8:41 AM
just a piece of shit
She closed her eyes, folded her hands together and finally began her prayer. It was a simple, direct litany that came from her heart.
“Father, help me find within me to forgive them.”
Mornings to her are magical, the golden-lit rays embracing darkness to sleep, as though the knights of heaven are sprinkling gold dusts to awaken the earth.
So she looked up...waiting... and waiting... to once again feel that magic, for it to wash away the stench of hatred burning inside her. But she saw nothing but the maimed remains of darkness as the morning reached her.
“Why Father? I don’t understand”She continued walking on blinded steps nary of her lost sight. She threaded through the mazes of uncertainty wanting... wishing... to somehow...
“Why did they lie Father? Why did you include selfishness in the world you made?”She sat on the cold marble platform, the remnants of the night branded on it. She can hear the twigs snapping on a nearby tree and the hush of the wind caressing her smoothly. Her eyes watched those few people brave enough to welcome the chill of the morning. Their heads bowed in silent resignation as if afraid that they might give something away.
“Please Father. Gift me an answer.”She turned the knob of the door, sauntering towards the heap of cotton sheets. Her eyes remained dry, drought of tears to be shed, clutching the pillow on her chest she reached for her phone.
“I’m praying to Him to lend me the will to find it my heart to forgive you both, but He hasn’t answered me yet.
I am mad for the simplest of reasons, you both mean a lot to me and I really had the best intentions at heart.
I hate selfishness beyond anything and you both just topped my list. You are my person and I'm giving you a vow never to do anything that may hurt you. But let me frank, I hated you for a moment, not for what you did but for the choices you poorly made. I want no judgments but the truth are more in order now, we have enough lies. Believe me, I understand, not completely... but enough.
Thank you for telling me.”Mornings are new days.
G W E N signed off 2:52 AM
just a piece of shit
I wanted... to believe.
Because I know behind the myriad of masks ... you believed in me.
G W E N signed off 3:28 AM
just a piece of shit
I don't feel myself as of late. Much like bone stuck in my throat... choking me.
I want a break from abstractness, from figuring things out one after another.
I need a miracle to lessen my complexities.
I hope somehow I'll be able breathe again without trying.
G W E N signed off 12:04 PM
just a piece of shit
Pattern-making for final design in 117 class.
It's way ambitious for those doing patterns for the first time but I'm crossing both my fingers. I'm yet to do a muslin trial for this, so let us see :)
TO BE CONTINUED...
G W E N signed off 2:03 PM
just a piece of shit
From a recommendation by a good friend, I watched Finding Forrester late this afternoon, listed as one of the saddest movie in history; it got the opposite reaction from me. The film actually made me feel good rather than what it was intended for, which made me think if I just have an unconventional way of seeing situations or I’m just plainly twisted.
Nonetheless, I enjoyed it immensely. I’m always in awe with good writers. I love writing but perhaps not as much as it loves me. I admit without question that my literary works are a bunch of trash. My writing is in average, done in mixed up words none can fully comprehend, I have lost the power to communicate in paper, and I failed countless of times to deliver what I intend to say.
My admiration extends beyond words to those who write with simplicity, using the simplest, most basic words but then having the ability to grasp you in mind, body and soul.
William Forrester gave this advice. Write with your heart first, not thinking. And then after, that is when you use your mind to edit your work.
He sat in front of his typewriter and started typing without pausing, completing a one page essay in 2 minutes. I paused for a while thinking how it’s possible to write in such a way, if it’s even possible in the first place.
So here, I tried it out. I did that paragraph in 10 seconds. For the first time, I wrote without thinking or cheating to pause. I can’t even remember how those words made it there.
No editing is done with this. There a lot of wrong grammars and some sentences I can’t even understand. It’s still trash but I’m proud of it for it is my first work using nothing but heart.
Regarding who that person is, I don’t have an idea.
There are times when my mind wanders freely and all I could think of is us. Like the moon upon waking up, blushing like a maiden’s first love. Glowing like a lit-up lantern under the darkness, illuminating the path as each foot drags itself slowly upon it. I can only think of nothing, but you. Solely you.
I hear the rain pushing angrily against the tin roof transforming the beating melody in the rhythm of a pounding heart. I see you in the mists of loneliness. It is you I can only see as the world turn still.
G W E N signed off 9:01 AM
just a piece of shit
I know this is just a facebook application but thank you for this father.
GOD WANTS ME TO KNOW:
Just rest for a moment. It's OK. Yes, things are crazy, yes, the world is going nuts. Yet, deep underneath the stormy waves, there, in the core of your being, there is pure silence, pure love. And ... it's ... just ... OK
G W E N signed off 3:14 PM
just a piece of shit
DAMN IF YOU DO, DAMN IF YOU DON'T.
AREN'T WE A LITTLE OLD FOR A CHILD'S PLAY?
G W E N signed off 4:30 AM
just a piece of shit
This may sound pretty lame coming from me.
I guess my splitting headache and a really bad case of overdosing my pop pills aka biogesic twisted my brain into a serious blob of goo.
I NEED A MAN-CANDY.
And not just any man-candy, THE MAN-CANDY.
Someone like William Davis of Privilege:
*20 something billionaire living in a Palm Beach mansion.
*A face that could put Brad Pitt into shame.
*The body that could make me forget my own name.
*Sexiness that can literally... well, you get the picture.
Gawd. Seriously. I need some sexy time of my own.
I had hit the legal age way back... even the age number to do illegal stuffs :D
So yeah. I need some man-candy loving. And soon.
G W E N signed off 9:22 AM
just a piece of shit
Is there a word worse than
EXHAUSTED in bold capital letters?
I soooo am. My calender's so fucked up with things to do that I probably am booked for the next 10 years.
I think my cranium is about to crack in half from all the inner mind screaming.
BY: The girl who dreams of an 8-hour sleep someday. LOL :)
G W E N signed off 10:55 AM
just a piece of shit
I waited for goodbye, I waited for it like you wait for nighttime to come and steal away the daylight, I thought it wouldn’t hurt.
then it did.
it was a pneumonic hurt, that lived in my lungs and hid my breathing under sobbing and loud lyrics. it was a hurt that began in my toes and shattered three ribs to get to breaking my heart. it was a hurt that screamed in my ears:
pretty boys break hearts.i carved it in my leg- just so i wouldn't forget.
G W E N signed off 9:32 AM
just a piece of shit
If I wrote you a lullaby with verses of moonlit, fogged breath and a chorus of heartbeats- would you fall asleep with our melody in your palms?
I lie awake at night and watch traffic lights outside my window shout RED into the peace quiet and occasional hazy rev of traffic. I lie awake and shiver through layers and wish to silent stars it wasn’t winter, wish the nighttime cool wouldn’t paint quite so many goose bumps on my skin and make my eyelids so cold. I lie awake at night and night-dream without sleep- about you and all your eyelashes and beautiful wordings.
I like the way your collarbone lies horizontally beneath your neck, resting on light shoulders. God must have hidden it beneath your peach skin in a hurry, because with hurried hands he didn’t push it in quite far enough. I imagine him assembling you, I envisage your organs and elongated limbs before you were in a single piece, a mess-heap of portions and parts of beautiful. I would have liked to build you up myself, just to step back and inflatedly grin at my artwork.
I make a habit of closing my eyes before I come too close, your eyes send me into a dangerous euphoria and I’m the kind of girl to faint. I wonder if you notice, I wonder if you wonder if I notice the way you smile too often, don’t get enough sleep and eat too much sugar.
I write you love letters in my mind, and when I try to recite them, all I can do is speak cloudily with made-up words that mean things I can’t quite say; in awe of everything that is you, and everything that is possibly, probably, wishfully and longingly us.
If you were the moon I’d be nighttime’s navy breath in your craters. If you were the sand I’d be the rolling waves submerging every golden grain of you. If you were a heart I’d be the encasing ribcage and the hot blood in your arteries. If you were a boy I’d be your lover.
G W E N signed off 9:19 AM
just a piece of shit
Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's looking for my own piece of mind.
Don't assign me yours.
G W E N signed off 8:05 AM
just a piece of shit
